Dr. Paul Ekman states that shame and guilt are all about meeting expectations. These are social or moral emotions.
Shame: I did not meet my own standards and expectations.
Guilt: I did not meet your standards and expectations.
Shame focuses on who one is, while guilt focuses on what one has done.
People who experience shame feel that they are bad in their core, defective or undeserving. People who feel guilty tend to punish themselves over and over. This leads to depression, inability to achieve success or all kinds of fears.
Shame and guilt might be useful in order for us to fit in to our societal norms, however, when these feelings are excrescent they are destructive and harmful.
Often shame tends to use narcissism, blaming and contempt as a defense mechanism against the feeling, while guilt tends to use repression against the feeling.
I am developing a masterclass on shame and guilt. It will be geared towards adult women with ADHD/ADD who experience excess shame and guilt. These feelings make life very difficult and narrows the window of possibilities. If you or you know anyone who has ADHD/ADD and experiences feelings of shame and guilt I would love to have a session with them. I will charge only half of my regular price for this session.